If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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