Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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