She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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