At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
