I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
