i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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