Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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