Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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