It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
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