I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
