i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
