Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
