my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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