he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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