There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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