I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
