Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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