I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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