Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
