She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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