I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
