You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
