Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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