you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
