I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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