Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.