When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
