Are we in a gay sports bar?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.