Do you still have your period?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
