Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
