im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
whose parrot is this?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
