So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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