i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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