Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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