I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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