We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
did i walk over a car last night?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
