sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
