:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
