allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
