Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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