Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
