I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
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Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
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Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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