I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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