Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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