He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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