I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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