week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I lost the right to judge tonight
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back