Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit