Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
