Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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