Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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