My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm at about main and main street
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
