What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize