Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
