His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he shaved USA in his pubs
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
